An Epiphany

I had an epiphany the other night, whilst lying in bed waiting to fall asleep. For the first time in many many months, I realized that I finally understood why I've been without motivation to pursue many of my hobbies. I'll talk about model building, since it relates the best to what I'm trying to explain. This passage from Gunota.info pretty much sums up what I've been suffering from:

Do You Have It? AMS –  Advanced Modeling Syndrome;  is a condition that is characterized by a modeler’s obsession or continual pursuit to outdo his own capability & standard, resulting in the inability to complete a model kit. In the worst possible scenario, the modeler can suffer burnout and become incapable of doing any model kit for long periods of time.

The root for causes are many but can be typified by the some of the following examples below;

• adding Metal thrusters, Spikes, Tubing, Grooves covers and also LED lit beam sabers to model kits,
• adding mobility mods and making proportion adjustments,
• surfing the internet for references and research on similar builds before embarking on the project and
• many more.

All these itsy-bitsy things will trip-up a modeler, potentially reducing his/ her production levels to near-zero and leave them in depression, despair and remorse.

 I cleaned up the above a bit, but the gist is clear. And it's exactly what I've been going through. I've always had a bad habit of putting off doing stuff, because I always want to be perfectly prepared for the project I'm going to be starting "soon". First it was that I had to get a compressor and airbrush, then I needed a specific paint, then I ran out of primer, and on and on... Before long, nothing ever got started, and all the while I was planning three or four kits ahead! Pretty dumb now that I think about it. Instead of starting a kit I currently owned, I'd fixate on some new one, and I couldn't start anything until I purchased the new one. And like clockwork, when the new one came in, I'd lose interest and start fixating on something else. I had this problem with games too. While playing WAR, I'd get soo wrapped up in raising my Renown Rank that I started to dread logging in to play my "required" amount of scenarios instead of just paying attention to my current options and trying to enjoy just playing the game. 

Same deal with my drawing hobby: I'd plan a piece like a poster type illustration, start my  preliminary sketches and never get past that point. I'd plan and sketch and plan, but I would never start the actual piece.

Now that I've recognized this mental block of mine, I've begun making a concerted effort to actually start and finish a model kit. I'm trying to just sit down every night for a decent chunk of time and get something done. Even if it's just assembling/sanding one part, so long as some progress is made. I'm really happy about this new state of mind and I hope I'll be able to show you a completed project before too long. I'm actually looking forward to this. It's been a while.

Ding 40! And Additional Randomness.

I turned 40 on Khazgar finally last weekend, and I still have the same pants =/. Anyway, I got myself a Tellurian Giantsplitter from the Guild Vault and I'm now in the process of figuring out what I need to do from here. I'm evaluating what stats I need to be stacking, as well as trying to figure out what jewelry I need to be slotting. I'm also looking at different build/tactic combos, currently I'm Trollslayer to Rune of Absorption, and Giantslayer to Violent Impacts. My professions are still below 150, so that's another thing I need to catch up on.

In other news, Order on Badlands had a great zone flip this past weekend. I say great, because of the level of organization that was required to pull it off. Destro was pushing Reikland really hard, but we were able to hold both Keeps and eventually take and hold all the BO's and lock the zone. We had a little more than three warbands in Reikland, and we were able to hold off several Destro assaults on all the objectives. We did this by posting a scout on the high cliff at Wilhelm's Fist, and this scout would watch the Destro warcamp and call out the directions that Destro groups would take out of the camp. Using this strategy, we were able to coordinate the different warbands to defend or assault the various objectives. Normally with this many players in a zone, warbands just randomly zerg, but this time players listened to the warband leaders and actually followed orders! It was a great experience, with a hefty chunk of renown, influence and medals for finally locking the zone. After the zone lock, we all rode north to Praag and captured the south keep just to spite Destro. I logged off shortly after this, with a great feeling of realm pride and camaraderie with my fellow players. Good job, Order of Badlands, it was a privilege to fight by your side.

And now that I finally got to 40 on Khaz, guess what I do next? Yup. I rolled another alt. This time a Warrior Priest. Sigh. This altoholism is definitely a chronic condition. Oh, and I'm sorry I haven't put up the next book review yet. I ran into a snag, namely, I didn't have access to the book I was reviewing for about a week, Long story. But not quite as long as the review, which I will post soon. That's it for now ladies and gents, I will see you guys again soon.

Multiple Characters with Limited Playtime.

I'm nearing 20 on my Slayer, having just hit 18 this morning. I feel sort of bad, since I haven't been playing my Shadow Warrior lately, being caught up in the Slayer mania. Usually about this time, I start to feel an itch to play an alt. Of course, this is also strongly influenced by the talk in the forums I am a regular poster on. Recently, the topic has shifted to Chosen, and how badass they are. So now, I'm itching to play a Chosen again. This cycle has already occurred several times, and each time I end up rolling another alt. This accounts for my Witch Hunter, White Lion, Shadow Warrior, Knob, and Warrior Priest. Yes, I know I have a problem. On destro, I had this happen to a much lesser extent. I only seriously tried out a Black Orc, Chosen, Blackguard and Marauder. I also quit playing characters because of weird, niggling complaints that really mess with me mentally. For example, I quit my Chosen because I didn't like the way his shield or two-hand sword clipped through his armor. Also, some of the graphical effects turned me off with how "bright" they were. Ravage, for example.

Anyway...I'm rambling again. Back to the erstwhile topic. I really want to rank up both my SW and my Slayer, but I have less time to play. I like to play my Slayer during prime time in the evenings, since the most ORvR goes on around this time. Also, scenario pops are much quicker. So it's a lot easier to get RvR in between quests. I really want to rank my Slayer up as quickly as possible, so I can play more with my guild at T4. But I also don't want my SW to fall by the wayside. From an efficiency standpoint, whichever I play, I need to play at night. I  enjoy the change of pace from melee to ranged. At the same time, I can't help but feel that I'm not getting the full experience until I hit at least rank 26 or so, when more Mastery abilities are available to me. Sometimes I wish I could skip leveling, if only so I can start trying out all those theroryhammered career builds on wardb. Alas, this can not be the case. First, I have no interested in powerleveling, and second, WAR is a game that really rewards investment in a single character. It's no accident that the character you play most ends up with the most tome unlocks, titles, gear and gold. 

I guess I'm just overanalyzing this. I should just shut up, play what I feel like, and have fun with the game. It's the min-maxer in me talking. I guess its because I have less time to play that I want to make the most efficient use of my playtime. This post has rambled enough, so I guess I'll cut it short for now. If you are still reading this, I thank you.